DAVE WEASEL
SEATTLE, WA April 1, 2016 – A 28-year-old man is dead after his girlfriend beat him to death because she had a dream he cheated on her with a waitress at a golf course.
According to police, the woman woke the man up to confront him. “It appears as though she did try to get a reasonable explanation from her boyfriend about why he was sleeping around on her in her sleep. When he said he couldn’t possibly know why she had a dream like that, she took out his nine iron and murdered him with it.”
“It still counts as cheating, even though it didn’t really happen,” the woman explained. “He said that was ridiculous, as though my horoscope and subconscious mind were wrong. He attacked my intuition as a woman so I defended myself with his golf club.”
The woman and her family are no strangers to police. Last year her sister stabbed her boyfriend because he didn’t like her selfie fast enough.
Bazinga… For Satire… Smile…
sms\rm
(This story has not been edited by BDC staff and is auto-generated from a syndicated feed from IANS.)
Writers are welcome to submit their articles for publication. Please contact us through Contact Us in the Menue