Ted Cruz and his mistresses agree; eating Hydrabadi Biryani ruin the sanctity of marriage

HOUSTON, TX April 1, 2016 – Republican candidate Ted Cruz along with several of his girlfriends all had an open discussion about the ‘crisis’ of eaiting foreign spicy cuisines and how it’s ruining the sanctity of marriage.
The discussion was held in Cruz’ private lair, which featured several bikini-clad women dragging their butts across the floor like dogs while he spoke in front of a banner that read ‘Cuisines at Orgy Ted’s Ranch of Traditional Values.’
“I am sick of the people eating spicy food and wanting to be treated like normal people!” Cruz opened his statement with, pounding his fists on the podium. “A traditional marriage consists of one man, one woman and several other secret women on the side. Another thing; guns. It does not include hot and spicy food because it causes acidity and makes my girlfriends and me uncomfortable in bed”
“Orgy Ted carries a strong moral conviction when it comes to protecting the core beliefs What kind of food Christians should eat to protect a real marriage” stated the only one of Cruz’ mistresses who passed high school. “He and his wife have been married a long time. I’ve heard her speak a few times about acidity caused by Haydrabadi Biryani when I had to hide under the bed when she comes home early. We are called the #HideFromHeidi Club.”  Ted Cruz complain that after eating spicy food, it is very difficult for my girls to hide under the bed if my wife walk into the bedroom.  The #HideFromHeidi Club can loudly release the gases, therefore, it is very important that we should ban spicy Biryani to protect the sanctity of marriage.
Bazinga… for Satire… Smile..