My (Fake) HIV Positive Matrimonial Profile

“Almost a year ago, I found myself in the midst of what felt like a 9.5 magnitude earthquake striking my marriage relationship. Devastated, with unexpected drama, I moved back home.

 

Before I could even begin to digest the situation, my mother started getting strange calls from people asking unnatural questions about me. They were interested in further information they said they learned from visiting prospective matrimonial Internet sites.

 

 I am still legally married, so when I arrived home, the last thing on my mind was considering new relationships.I was still in the throws of aftershocks from my relationship. Everyone in my family knew this and would never have thought of creating a profile, nor even advertise my situation.

 

 At first, we thought this must be a prank and that it would just go away. To the contrary, as time went by, the calls increased. Soon, it became impossible for my mother to handle these calls, and defend me because they were asking about me being HIV Positive!

 

What! I am not and never was HIV Positive.

 

 A sickening wave came over me as I realized that someone had maliciously created a fake Matrimonial Profile of me.”

 

 

“Looking at all the trouble this was causing, my mother became overwhelmed, like a sinking ship. She wanted me to get back to work, ignore these weird calls and move on. Trust me this was tougher than anyone of you could think or imagine.

 

Ongoing aftershocks continued hitting my personal life and topped with HIV positive calls, and were taking a toll on me in every way.

 

I was trying hard to get up and run …, the only voice I could hear over and over in my head was ‘dying to be myself’

 

It was very difficult for me to even have a conversation with people, forget meeting anyone new.

 

Even appearing for an interview was like moving a mountain with a small spoon. In some conversations with prospective employers, I was not able to utter more than 2 lines without feeling paralyzed, not knowing if the person I was talking to was aware of my inner turmoil, being troubled by invisible lies. It was as if I was changing into a walking dead person. Giving myself the right to quit never became an option, no matter how tempting. I decided the only choice was to make myself get up and become myself again.

 

 Many times, I came very close to finding the exact job I had been aiming for. But every time the hope of being hired evaporated for no reason.

 

Constantly, I began asking myself, why are all my efforts going down the drain?

 

 Then, right in the middle of my next new interview with a highly prospective employer, I was hit hard with another enormous earthquake! During our conversation, I was actually asked straight out about my being HIV Positive!

 

 As I sat there in shock, a question was triggered in my mind, how does this person know specific details about those weird calls my mom was still receiving?

 

Being a marketing professional, as well as very active on blogging and microblogging sites, to me, it is obvious the first thing a person will do to dig up more information about a person is to fish around the Internet checking their name.

 

With this revelation, I went straight on Google search of my name on my computer. To my horror, the first link that appeared was My matrimonial profile stating I was HIV Positive, containing many of my pictures, my complete education and working details.

Broadening the assault, complete details of my parents work and education, and facts regarding my sibling were also available!

 

I did similar searches using my sibling and parents name, and still my HIV positive profile link came up listed at number 3 and 5 on the top search results.

 

In a short amount of time, I managed to find Matrimonial Profiles in my name, listed on three separate websites!

 

 Although my life had entered a period of complete destruction, after seeing those results a strong urge rose up within me that I can’t let same thing happen to my parents and sibling.

 

Recalling the professional conversations I was having with prospective employers, I was never comfortable answering questions about my personal life and in fact, purposefully avoid them.If prompted about being married, I would say, Yes, I am married. And legally I am still married.

 

For sure my interviewers had been observing confusing pieces of information after looking further into my life and finding Matrimonial Profiles that included statements I was HIV Positive!

 

 Staring at the screen, I could not believe my eyes, this happening to me? No way!”

 

 Her heart used to read about people involved in such stories in the newspaper and would feel sorry for the victims. Now the nightmare was delivered to her very own door and was now her life story.

 

 She pondered who her secret enemy could be? Who was her hidden enemy and why did he want to destroy her completely? 

 

 

“It took a long time to convince my mom that we needed to report this as a crime to the police and get it investigated.

 

 I don’t know why victims are taught to shy away from attaining justice.

 

I never thought in my ugliest dreams, I would ever be entering a police station. But the gravity of my situation forced me to do so.

 My mom would accompany me for support, while I was explaining to each investigation officer and heard my HIV Profile story with mom by my side, the only words she could utter, with tears in her eyes were, Please investigate as silently as possible. This is matter of our daughter’s and family image. I don’t want to see her in more pain.”

 

 The truth is the impact of my victimization ran so deep that, she wanted to hide herself from the outside world. It became impossible to trust anyone, but still,she had to run from one police station to another trying to make them understand my story.

 

“Finally, I was informed by the investigating officer, we are close to catching the culprit… give us 10 more days.

 

 Slowly, my online profile got deleted! This was a huge relief but immense destruction of my image was already done.

 

 While my HIV profile remained active, I knocked on every possible door for job. No one gives a job to an HIV Positive person nor a controversial person like me.

 

As for my investigation officer, I was informed, ‘We have tried our level best, but not able to catch the culprit. Let us know If you get any clues.’”

 

 Starting with her local state police, it turned out they were unable to solve the case. She moved on and tried contacting the police of other states. Telling them her story, asking for help, taking advice, guidance. Getting her case transferred to one of the other state agencies seemed impossible, due to a jurisdiction issue. Only the police working under her certain jurisdiction could help, she was told. No matter which police station door she knocked on, all they would do is forward her request right back to the place where she first filed the case. It appeared this would be another never ending loop.

 

 Finally something she never expected happened. Her case was permitted beyond jurisdiction.

 

 

 Knocking the doors was easy, difficult part was to explain story on each door. It was like stabbing legs of walking dead person at same place.

 

 

“My mom was feeling happy again, when my profile was finally deleted. She really wanted to me get back to work.

 

 I knew that rumors travel faster than the speed of light. Trying to connect the dots, how could I forget that my secret enemy had planned everything well and was still out there? He or she have full information about me, my family and posted lies in my name. My secret enemy has full information about all my moves….for sure he or she is around me, to make step by step destruction plan

 

You see, I absolutely loved my name, my grandfather gifted my name to me….. It’s a very unique name. And today I hate my name for being unique, so vulnerable. Was easy to find over google.

 

Flashing back a few years ago, I was an independent girl, I was in total love with myself and my life, and well known as a multi-talented person. I had lots of innocent dreams, was know for my smile and was very naughty.

 

 Today, as a result of this nightmare, I don’t even remember how I look, or when was the last time I had conversation with anyone, even when the last time I stepped out of my house was.My professional life appears to be over, negative rumors abound all around me, I’m in super huge debt… and when was the last time I smiled?

 

During the last few years, I lived under lots of insecurity and fear. Finally insecurity and fear vanished.

 

 Even now with my Profile deleted I can’t just let my secret enemy hide behind the cover. He or she knows everything about me and my family, watches all of our moves and wanted to destroy us. My secret enemy has well planned everything, as sequence of events was just perfect.

For the safety of me and my family it’s very important to catch person behind the mask. And I am not ready to give up!Now it’s my turn to play, and I choose get up, dust myself off and determine not to let my secret enemy win. Time to fight back.

 

Through this ordeal I have had just one ear that could listen to me, that’s my mom. She does not say much, just listens and says go ahead. She is like a sinking ship I am trying to save. All I want to say to her is “ Mom, thanks for giving me a place in your house. Sorry Mom for all the pain and bad image our family has because of this rumor.Now I am here to protect my family. Trust me mom, I will bring justice to our family. And you daughter will be back with a bang! We will all live again! We will smile again. We will live the dreams we have once dreamed. My secret enemy who is hiding behind the cover can’t destroy us. We choose not to be like zombies.”

 

 Time to seek Justice.

 I know it will take time and confidence for achieving it and the steps towards this goal will not be easy.

 

I know, tackling physical injury or disease is a tough job. But healing from cyber attack is not an easy task. The pain one goes through lingers on and on, sometimes for life. You might end up becoming a Zombie.

 

Several attempts have been made to contact the central police again, to check the status of my case. The process of talking to one officer to another than another is not pleasant. It’s like stabbing your hand at same place again and again, when your walking dead. Unfortunately the update I received after more than a month of struggle, the case again got transferred to original state and same police officer. After a whole year, this was the biggest aftershock.

 

 I couldn’t get out of my mind why my secret enemy has not just killed me in one swoop rather than making me this kind of life. Finally, called the investigation officer of my state to check update, go same reply what I got earlier… We cant do anything the website owner’s don’t track IP address. Nothing could be done.

 

Finally my mom exploded, I know you have been playing with fire. This has come to an end, you’re trying to get justice but in this process you might welcome more trouble for yourself and the family. She pleaded me to forget this case. It took long time to make her understand, it’s not a normal cyber-crime case. This is part of bigger game. I wish this was related to money, I would have ignored. But this secret game plan has killed me completely and image of our family. If I will let me go, this time for sure…. this will encourage him and we have to be ready for bigger secret attack.

 

My secret enemy is hidden behind a cover, we need to tear off the cover… I want live maa, you remember how I was.. I don’t want anything except justice… Dying to be myself…. Just want to get up and run and try to be alive again and live again…

 Started my work again, I will not loose.

 

 Made a new fresh list of Doors, I am back knocking the doors…. requesting for justice.. I will not stop until my secret enemy comes in front ..I will not give up. I will keep on knocking until I get justice.

 

 Doors started responding again, and I waiting to see the impact of this response. I will keep on knocking doors till I get justice.”

 

 

Shachi Dubey

Author can be reached at shachidubey@gmail.com